Green With Evil
by I.C. Weener
Summary: For anyone who says I don't bother the Outer Senshi enough.


" _Say no to drugs. Say yes to pizza."_

\- Ancient proverb

* * *

The sun's rays became weaker as you traveled further out into the solar system. The outer planets were darker, more remote, and more vulnerable. It made them prime for an alien invasion.

The four Sailor Soldiers crawled up from the darkness rubbing their throbbing heads. Their Sailor Suits were worn down from battle and covered in astral dust. Stone rubble crumbled down from the edge of the crater surrounding them.

Sailor Neptune struggled to sit up on her side as Sailor Uranus painfully rose off her knees. Sailor Pluto was sitting cross-legged and wincing in agony. She tried to focus her vision on the pitch blackness surrounding them as she got back up. Sailor Saturn moaned from her headache and used her glaive as a cane to barely stay on her trembling feet.

Sailor Galaxia hovered over their heads. Her arms were crossed as she looked down defiantly on her hapless enemies. Her gold armor glared with a light that was every bit as harsh as the profound blackness surrounding them.

"Miserable Sailor cretins," she said in a pompous voice. "Your Star Seeds will never shine brightly enough to be worth harvesting."

Her expression changed to a threatening smile.

"But I'm sure you'll make lovely Chaos Shards."

The room rumbled in the dark. The air begin to glow in a malevolent green nebula as swarms of black holes opened below, above, and on all sides of the Outer Sailor Soldiers. The portals spewed waves of verdant tentacles attached to mountainous moving structures, surrounding the team like an Oort cloud of living evil.

The Sailor Soldiers slowly posed their arms to perform their magic attacks. They were determined to fight even with their powers nearly exhausted.

"Sink back into the hideous cosmic void that created you, Sailor Soldiers! The horrors have been getting hungry!" Galaxia lifted her head in diabolical laughter. Then she quickly looked away to spare herself from the sight.

The battle was over before a single Sailor Scout got a chance to use her attack. One of the countless shadowy structures rising directly behind them leaned closer and revealed its gaping tendril-covered beak. The Sailor team gasped together before the monster collapsed over them and enveloped them under mass. They were gone in an instant.

The monster began partially melting into bright green digestive acid as it gave up some of its solid structure and become more like a colossal amoeba. As it slowly sank onto the floor where the Sailor Soldiers had spent their final moments, the mollusk-like muscles stretching along its back erupted into irritated hives. The hives quickly surged into boils. The creature's back bubbled like green lava and hissed with steam as the grotesque boils changed shape, forming the crude outlines of female human figures. Gasps and weak moans flowed over the sounds of planets forming as four women-spawn escaped from their cradle on the monster's dissolving spine.

Neptune and Uranus burst out of the same molten blister with their new bodies wrapped around each other. Saturn formed out of the boiling cosmic soup a few inches taller and with a fully developed hourglass figure as a consequence of being destroyed and recreated by the timeless Chaos of the universe. Pluto struggled out of her collapsing cell membrane and threw her long emerald hair over her shoulders.

Whatever they had been forced to become in the deep recesses of space was primitive, feral, and only human in basic shape. Their eyes glowed like dark jades. Their skin was made of green reptilian hide. The ends of their fingers were lined with gnarled black claws. Their Sailor Suits were made from moist green slime. Living tentacles grown out of their own bodies took the place of ribbons, skirts, and scarf accessories. They each had quivering green dreadlocks mutated in separate styles in place of hair. Uranus had short tendrils covering the top of her head. Pluto's were dense and long. Neptune's were curling down her back. Saturn had a bob cut that wouldn't stop wiggling around.

The four sultry and slimy emeralds glanced toward one another with the same terrible thought. Their souls were lost to the infinite shapeless void of space-time. Now they were guided by nothing but an instinctive urge to return the universe to Chaos.

* * *

 _Author's note: I wonder if this is the origin of Splatoon._


End file.
